Couldn’t Fly Straight T-Shirt (Unisex)
$25.40
Off-Heading Outfitters: gear for people who took a wrong turn somewhere and decided the wrong turn was the point. The front emblem looks like a souvenir patch from some dusty desert outpost - runner silhouetted against a sunset, red rock spires on every horizon, the kind of badge you'd find tacked up behind the counter at a shop that sells maps and jerky and not much else.
Flip it. The back tells the actual story. Poster-style print across the shoulders: rainbow BASE canopy hung up on a cliff face, chunky block letters underneath reading "EVEN HIS PARACHUTE COULDN'T FLY STRAIGHT." Pulled from the one genuinely funny comment in the internet pile-on after a real Moab cliff strike - slur-to-merch pipeline complete. Wear it with worn denim, layer it under a flannel, leave it crumpled on the truck floor. It keeps telling the story regardless.
Product features
- 100% ringspun cotton (heather colors contain polyester)
- Lightweight 4.5 oz fabric for a soft, breathable feel
- Classic fit with side seams and shoulder-to-shoulder taping
- Ribbed knit collar with double-needle stitching at sleeves and hem
- Tear-away label for comfort
Care instructions
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), with similar colors
- Non-chlorine bleach as needed
- Tumble dry: medium
- Do not iron
- Do not dryclean